[bksvol-discuss] Book submitted 5600 Jokes
- From: "Shelley L. Rhodes" <juddysbuddy@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <bksvol-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, <bookshare-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 20:30:27 -0500
Hey you all submitted the first of I hope many joke books or books of humor
to come. We really need a "humor" catagory, smile.
But that is an entirely different topic.
Anyway, this is unedited. I suspect the following will have to be done.
Cutting and pasting of numbers to correspond to jokes. I tried columns on
and off, and not much difference, sorry guys formatting. Also junk chars
will have to be erased, and spelling should be done very carefully. Besides
that should be a fun read, and I hope the headers don't get stripped. This
is a reference book.
610 pages, is quite large even after shrinking with MS Word... so not sure
about a Braillenote handling it.
Anyway.
I can get the book again if pages need to be rescanned is a library book so
would only have to pop down and get it.
From the Book jacket:
What's better than Dial-A-Joke?
File-A-Joke. This is the book you've been looking for. The one that takes
the worry out of wisecracks, the book that proves there is such a thing as
easy humor (providing somebody else does the work!)
This book does all the work. Now all you have to do is leaf through and
enjoy. Or, better yet, pick a victim and look him up in the index. Your
unsuspecting mailman, for instance:
"Say, Charlie, why is this letter wet?" (Your postman gives a puzzled look.)
"Must be postage dew." (Then duck, quickly.)
And there's no need to stop there. Is your postman rather hefty? Then just
flip to the back of the book and look under "Fat People" (no beating around
the bush with this book). You'll find high-level intelligence quotients
under "Smartness," conceit under "Stuck Up," and unmarried ladies under "Old
Maids."
Now that you have 5600 Jokes for All Occasions as a guide, you no longer
have to feel frustrated when have a door
open and a smart alick stares at you if you were asked if
were raised in a barn. Just follow this
book's at l art to cry immediately.
When he it is wrong, just sniff the
following: I was raised in a barn, and whenever Ï see your house, I get
homesick."
Want a crazy excuse for being late for work? Try #3212. Or for never having
learned to spell? #4923. And #4378 is great to try on ex-cons and football
lovers. If you want to impress a literary snob who asks you if you know
Shakespeare, quote #4595 and say, "Sure, I read his stuff as soon as it
comes out."
Search these pages to find out why Ireland is the richest country in the
world (#5480), how we know Washington had a great memory (#4007), and who
went two thousand miles on a galleon [sic] (#5025).
In its unusual Introduction, 5600 Jokes for All Occasions supplies us with a
valuable guide to making the most of the material. The Introduction gives
hints on How to Select Material, Write and Tell Jokes, Adapt Jokes, and
Write Sketches and Continuities. The humorous situations are broadly
classified into Individuals and Institutions, and these are neatly
subdivided so that every subject is related to the subjects before and after
it.
The most comprehensive collection of humor on the market today, 5600 Jokes
is a laugh-makers dream.
Shelley L. Rhodes and Judson, guiding golden
juddysbuddy@xxxxxxxxxxxx
Guide Dogs For the Blind Inc.
Graduate Advisory Council
www.guidedogs.com
The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to
stare up the steps - we must step up the stairs.
-- Vance Havner
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