<Big Tex>
Howdy Folks! Ever Want To Ride Rosie? Well Read On!
</Big Tex>
With everyone always running in the opposite direction of most
ChattyMorons, we
decided to start offering awards for two kinds of riders. That way, Real
Endurance Riders have some sort of incentive to associate with the obvious
Losers of the Endurance Riding World!
First, the Endurance Rider of the Year. This is a rider who has done the
best
in ChattyMoron recommended events. Our first ERotY was Dick Fish of 2000
(I'm
guessing there is not one person here surprised by that, no?) Our second was
Scott Davis of 2001.
We sincerely congratulate winners of the ERotY as they are the riders who
have
ridden the most consistent rallies of the year. Frankly, they are usually so
good, we get kind of annoyed at them.
Am I the only one who notices that ERotY sounds awfully close to "erotic?"
Yes?
OK! Keep reading, the good stuff is coming.
The real joy of being a ChattyMoron is the discussion that ensues when it
comes
time to pick the Moron of the Year. This is the rider who is often
cheerfully
demolishing all other riders in a rally and then does something *really*
moronic
to lose it all. Course, it gets a bit nasty when we feed the Court Jester
some
Jack Daniels and he starts denouncing non-union labour. Interrupts the
flow of
conversation doncha know?
Not always though. Sometimes we like to offer MotY to someone who just plain
acts moronic when the best of opportunities come along his/her/its
way. In the
case of last year, there was only one choice: Senator Dave Zien of Wisconsin
and his behaviour/choices at the start of the IBR. (Ask Dale Wilson) Thanks
for making it easy Senator Dave!
The year before it was Todd Witte (now a ChattyMoron) who was experiencing a
stunning rally ride in the Midwest Fest. He arrived back at the finish line
knowing he had just experienced a killer ride in this rally. Now, there
was one
requirement in that rally that Todd failed to notice. A gas receipt from
Kentucky. Todd fueled his HarleyBeemer in Ohio, crossed into Kentucky and
got
all kinds of bonii. Then he crossed back into Ohio and got fuel
again. (Notice
anything yet?)
Imagine the look on his face when he learned his ommission of a gas
receipt sent
him from 1st to way, way back in the pack. That's a Moron for you.
Bet y'all would like me to get to the point eh?
Well, awrighty then! Here we go:
Each year the Texas Methane Producer's Association co-produces the Ride To
Rosie's (some years "NOT") with the ChattyMorons. This Ride to Eat is the
first
and best place to learn who is the Endurance Rider of the Year as well as who
did the biggest bonehead thing in a rally in the last year. (Accidents don't
count.)
Want to learn who the Moron is?
Want to eat good food?
Want to hang out with ChattyMorons? (OK, I don't blame you but consider
riding
to this event anyway, OK?)
Want to meet the Minister of Miles? (A man who often does an astonishing sub-
1000 mile year!) Want to meet the Royal Keeper of the Duct Tape? (You
will if
he manages to duct tape that engine back together!) Want a packing lesson
from
the Royal Bellhop? (Be very careful with handing him your
checkbook. DAMHIK,
IJK!) Want helpful rally riding hints from the Minister of Time/Distance
Equations? (Hint: I'd be careful of that.)
Then come to the Ride to Rosie's!
Saturday, December 14th, 1:00PM
Rosie's Tamale House,
13436 West Highway 71
Austin, TX
512-263-5245
In order the make sure we have enough space at the restaurant, please
rsvp to Joel Davidson, jrd@xxxxxx by December 10th.
It's a Family Event so bring the whole clan and, remember, ChattyMorons
can be
bribed with good Q, good Booze or, frankly, a very funny story.
Dooode! Be there or be Triangular!
This has been an Official Communique brought to you by . . . . . . .
Altoids! The Stay Awake Mint of Endurance Riders
and . . . . . . . .
BVD's! The underwear endorsed by Jack Tollett: "I've worn my BVD's in
various
combinations for over 11 days at times. Try it! You'll like it!"
Ciao fer now!
Greg Robinson / ChattyMoron Minister of Propaganda
Plano! Republic of Texas!
94 R1100RSL / 95 Concours
"Ride It Like A Rental!"
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